Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Reflection



As I reflect upon the close of another year, I am reminded once again of that which is important to me. I think how my children have grown and had another birthday already, I think of my wedding anniversary and I think of my parents growing older.

There is so much to cherish in the here and now. And 10 years from now, I want to look back on my life as happy, contented, and full of love. I want to remember and celebrate my victories, and blur out the defeats. I want to remember this feeling. This feeling of being on the cusp on 34, already done with child-bearing. This feeling that I am just now getting into the prime of my life. This feeling that so much is still possible and every day I am molding my children into future adults.

What bits and pieces from their childhood will they remember? What funny little nuance will bring a flood of memories for them? What will they remember most - will it be the love and belonging they felt?

Will my husband remember me complaining that my closets are jam-packed and I wish we had a larger yard or will he remember the way we call him at work just to tell him we love him and appreciate the hot soup waiting for him when he comes in from work? Will he remember nights by the fire and our girls giggling or will he remember me stressed out because the floors need to be mopped and the fridge needs to be cleaned out?

I want to stop. it. all. right. now. I want to stop fretting about how my house looks all the time. I want to play more with my kids, and savor each sweet moment like frosting on a cupcake. I want to invite people over more, floors mopped or not. I want my home to be a refuge, both to those in my family and those we call friends.
I want to live, and laugh, and grow, and be a friend and have friends. Even if that means inviting people over when all I have to eat is pizza or chicken fingers and canned peaches for the kids. Preparing gourmet lunches and dinners is not what it's all about with 2 small children. I want to remind myself that money does not and cannot buy taste or class. I do not want to obsess about losing weight - I just want to eat healthier and do what I know I need to to be my true authentic self. I want to throw caution to the wind and take chances with people. And, being on the cusp of 34, I know that if I don't get the response I desire from people, or hope for, it's OK. I can still put myself out there. Because their reaction isn't as important as my effort. That's the beauty of 34. I want to relish each and every drop of 34, because it is a fantastic age. But most of all, I just want to remember how good my life really is.

Thanks for listening.

14 comments:

Tracy said...

Beautifully said! Best of luck to you, 34 really is a fantastic age. So is 43 :)

Have a wonderful New Year.

Wendy said...

Thank you for so eloquently putting into words the thoughts that have been in my heart too. I so needed to read them right now. Happy New Year!

Leigh said...

Happy New Year!

southerninspiration said...

So what you're saying is you want to live out loud in the moment? Great philosophy, and I think we all need to come back and read this post once a month to keep us at it.
Thanks!
Suzanne

Laurel MacD said...

Beautifully stated.

Shabby Mama said...

great post..you rock!

Susie Harris said...

What a wonderful post. I hope that you can put all of your wishes and dreams to action. 34 is a great age. I just turned 39 so I really want to hang on to this age for as long as I can. Take care~

Jeanneoli said...

What beautiful thoughts and sweet wishes for your own life and your families!

Girly Stuff said...

I really like your blog. I found you when I was searching Heather Chadduck. I love her stuff too.

I feel the same about having more people over more often despite the mess in the house. Hard to let go.

Happy New Year!

Jill said...

Enjoyed this post. Thinking these things at the young age of 34 will only enrich your future. I am up and blogging - please visit when you can. Your have inspired me these last few months and I am honored and excited to join the blogging gals.

Kelly said...

Amen! You should print this out and post on your bathroom mirror- great wisdom!

Inspired Kara said...

Thanks for the absolutely wonderful perspective...and honest sharing. I love these kind of posts.

Lisa said...

You stated it so well. I'm glad to know that there is someone else in the world feeling the exact same way I do! I love reading posts from the heart! Here's to a great 2009 and memories that will last a lifetime!

paige said...

i just recently found your blog & thought i'd swing through someof your older posts...this one is wonderful & such words of wisdom ( you youngster -wink)